This collection of self portraits came together during a period of unanticipated learning:
Learning the difference between intentional waiting and forced patience.
Learning new forms and depths of gratitude, and how to extract things to be grateful for from seemingly unforgiving and irredeemable situations.
Learning that I’m capable of things I didn’t think I would be, and that I can become capable of them faster than expected with intentional emotional work.
Learning about and exploring yet undiscovered elements of self without judgement.
Learning to rely on my intuition and say fuck everything else.
I didn’t know it was a collection when I started, and I’m not sure if it’s done. I started photographing myself to fulfill a need for creativity and some solitude in a one bedroom apartment during the height of pandemic. I continued as a way to process emotions stemming from a new kind of solitude that comes with separation and change.
Solitude, spending time with myself, isn’t something I’ve valued much before. Embracing it (at least a little) has given me space to know myself better than ever before.
“What was that sigh for?”
It was pointed out to me that I’ve been sighing often over the period these portraits were made. While the portraits are an intentional process of reflection, the sighs caught me by surprise. Sighs of exasperation, exhaustion, despair, courage, contentment, and relief. They‘re signals. And I’m listening.